I put a spell on you
by Miss Pennyfeather
Summary: Who knew insulting Sirius Black has benefits?
1. Chapter 1

I'm not usually one of those "kicking-and-screaming" people, cos I can't really afford it. I'm usually a quiet person who likes to take in her anger and deal with it later.

I come from a pretty modest family with low financial means and even attending Hogwarts is a miracle for me, since the expenses here are more than we can handle, but my parents struggle.

So I try not to disappoint them. Sure I don't dazzle teachers with my grades, sure I don't understand many things, sure I can't learn all the properties of a certain potion or the right steps in transfigurating a cat into a table, sure I sometimes fall asleep in History of Magic but overall I'm an average student doing alright.

I can't just blow my top when things don't go my way and I can't throw a tantrum either.

But there are times when I get beaten down or face some serious problems and I don't know how to act. Most of the times I don't; I just ignore them.

I've spent four years in this school without breaking the rules: I didn't stay after curfew, I didn't get more than ten detentions, I didn't wander off the school grounds, I didn't bring any illegal potions or beverages in the school and I tried not to get into any sort of conflicts with other students.

But this ended in a single afternoon when I literally exploded. It hadn't been the right move, no matter the reason behind it. I mean I shouldn't have got involved in something like this.

It all started with Sirius Black, a guy I had never talked to in my life but knew quite well by reputation. He was and still is the womanizer of the school, the classical Don Juan who really needs to get a hobby. I think he has dated and Merlin knows what else almost all the girls in school, except for a few Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors.

He is known to get together with one girl while trying to charm another, while dating a third and the list goes on. Sure he is handsome and clever in that witty sort of way, but that doesn't make up for the fact that he has no care for the feelings of others. And that's a big "no-no" in my list of "nice people I could talk to".

Now, I got into what I like to call "small fight" with Black because of a good friend of mine, Becky Summers.

Becky has always been my good buddy and we help each other a lot, even if we do not have so many things in common. We cheer each other up when the other one is sad and we get together, watch movies and eat junk food.

Well, to get straight to the point, I had had a very rough day and I was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. We had had a big test at Herbology and another one was coming up in a few hours at Astronomy, not to mention I had got a D in Potions.

My parents had written to me to tell me that they wouldn't be able to send me my small monthly allowance anymore, due to money issues. My allowance was already very small, but I was sad to hear my parents were having bigger problems.

Oh and I had spilt my ink pot on my clean white shirt.

All these things bottled up inside crashed when I witnessed an awful scene.

I saw Becky on the corridor crying while Sirius Black was trying to dump her.

I knew about their relationship, of course. They started going out three weeks ago and while I wasn't really content with this and told her she should be careful not to get hurt, I had to admit that she seemed really happy with him.

That is until he decided to end it. Becky really grew to like him over the weeks and frankly, that's not hard. Sirius Black can be fun to be around as a friend, but he isn't dependable or kind, he is just selfish and egotistical to a point where his nicer traits just disappear.

And now, seeing them in the badly lit corridor, her face in tears while he was just staring at her blankly, as if this was abnormal, something in me snapped.

I knew Black was rich. In fact, he was very rich. He was a spoilt, lucky kid. I was poor and I had had a bad day. And Becky did not deserve this treatment.

And how long was he going to keep up this stupid little game?

I marched right up to him and started yelling in his face.

'You're such a smarmy butt-faced prick with low self esteem who just loves to tread on others, regardless of their feelings!'

Both Becky and Sirius gaped at me in disbelief. Sirius was scratching his head a bit confused but that just angered me even more.

'So, you don't know what I'm talking about? Here's a girl who's only been nice and kind to you and cared for you sincerely and what do you do? You decide that's boring for you, because you rich frat boys (though I doubted he knew what I meant by that) can't help yourselves but show how deflated your ego really is and you chase every skirt until you reach the senile age of forty-five and you marry a Stepford wife and have an eighteen year old mistress.'

The last part just came out without even thinking, I just said everything I had always wanted to say. It wasn't fair some people had it easier. It wasn't fair he could just break people's hearts.

'So…I gather you don't like me,' Sirius said sheepishly.

'You're correct. And you know what? You don't deserve Becky. And you're going to be bald when you hit thirty,' I spat out awkwardly.

'Anything else?'

'No, that's all!' I half-shouted and walked away, taking Becky with me.

After a few flights of stairs, the realization that I had done a very stupid thing hit me like a thunder. And it sank slowly and painfully. I had insulted a boy for…well not nothing, but for something that wasn't my business. But people can't always sit and watch an injustice happening without trying to do something. I was afraid now that Black would report me or would talk to his rich, influential parents and then…

Oh, why had I flipped? Why now?

'Hey, Rachel…that was very…odd, but nice what you did back there. Thanks for sticking up for me,' Becky mumbled. 'No one's ever done that for me.'

Well, at least she thought I had done something good.

* * *

The next morning I thought Black would come up to me and retaliate or at least threaten me with a silly little catch phrase like "I'll teach you a lesson" or "meet me outside after classes, bring your pistols" but it didn't happen.

I was really glad I was off the hook so easily. I had reasons to celebrate so I put another helping of pancakes in my plate. He wasn't going to cause me trouble after all.

He was eating quietly with his friends. Maybe he had even forgotten all about it.

In the course of the day, I was in a good mood. Sirius hadn't said anything and I had stood up for someone and I felt like a small hero.

That is, until dinner time when I was suddenly called in the Headmaster's office.

Not good. I knew now Sirius had said something. I should have guessed.

No matter what would happen in there I had to keep my chin up and face the facts, and say it had been all his fault. After all, he was the one who started it by being so insensitive.

But the subject was very different. After I got out of there I wished that it had been about Sirius.

My parents were withdrawing me from school. My dad got fired three days ago. My mum was looking for a job. Meanwhile, my grandparents were helping them. My little sister who was just four, had got quite ill. Things were not looking up.

I felt a terrible pang inside. They couldn't afford to keep me here anymore, plus they needed me there to help them. The worst part was that I had already tasted this life and it would be hard now to return to the Muggle world, just like that.

My father wrote that I would return subsequently, but I didn't know how or when. For now I was just leaving.

I just felt so defeated that I assumed it was a punishment from Karma or divine Providence for making a scene the day before.

I had never felt this sad. I would be leaving on Friday.

I packed my things quietly and said goodbye to the wonderful scenery, the beautiful castle, the mysterious secret passages, the cheerful Great Hall, the warm common room…

I had told only a few people. I didn't want everyone to know. I didn't want anyone to ask me too many questions. They would notice eventually, or maybe not at all. I would miss everything so much, I would even miss Sirius Black if that was possible.

* * *

On Friday morning however, when I was just ready to leave I received a special missive that informed me that my small vault at Gringotts (dad had made one for me there when I turned eleven so I could officially be part of the magical world but I usually had little to no money there) now housed the sum of five hundred galleons.

I had never received a bigger shock. Apparently a very large donation had been made, or something as impossible as that. I thought someone was making a practical joke so I wrote them a letter but Gringotts confirmed the sum immediately. All morning I walked up and down the common room, baffled beyond words. I, Rachel Moore, owned five hundred galleons. More than enough to save myself and my parents. It was incredible.

Who could have done this very generous gesture?

I was baffled but flattered and touched at the same time. What a kind person!

But I had to find out who it was to thank them properly for this. I wondered if it was an accidental donation, that maybe he or she hadn't intended to transfer so much money.

Whoever it was, they had saved me, knowingly or unknowingly.

Now, I was indebted to that person, in a way.


	2. Chapter 2

But it was a little too good to be true. That's what I told myself after several minutes of bliss. I mean, alright, I apparently had been given some money, but did this imply anything on my part? Was I meant to do something? Was I meant to make up for it?

I had no idea, but something smelt fishy about this business. No one gives that much money without expecting something back. Or maybe I was just such a cynic, not to believe people could actually be kind and selfless.

My first task was to find out who it was. The bank wouldn't tell me. I revised the options. It had to be someone who knew about my precarious condition. He or she must have heard that my family was in a jam and that we were facing some problems, so…I can only surmise it was either someone from Hogwarts or someone who was connected to it.

When I came down for breakfast no one looked at me oddly, since not many knew I was going to leave in the first place. The few that did assumed I was sharing my last meal there.

Hopping next to some other Hufflepuff girls I scooped some porridge and started eating, peering at my colleagues from time to time. I had to admit I was curious. If it really was someone at Hogwarts who was my secret benefactor then I had to pay attention to the people around me.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and as the day went on things got slowly back to normal, so much so that I managed to focus on doing some actual homework. I wrote to my parents at home and told them about the money. Knowing they'd flip if they heard about the giant sum, I told them that all my Hufflepuff mates had come up with sums to help me. It was still implausible but maybe in their need for help they'd buy it. I went to Gringotts and transferred part of my money into dad's vault and part of it for my school expenses.

When I returned to Hogwarts I was dead exhausted. The Headmaster was happy to see the problem had been fixed somehow. He was delighted that I had received help, but he seemed a little bit too delighted, as if he knew who that person was, as if he had known beforehand. So I took the chance to ask him but he shooed me out of his office on silly pretences. I obeyed frustrated enough, but promised myself I'd find out.

Nevertheless, I was happy. I had managed to help my family and myself in one day!

My father was going to look for a job on Monday and my little sister was in the hospital.

The next morning I received two lengthy letters from my mum and dad asking me to explain exactly how my friends had helped me since, last they knew, I wasn't such an outgoing child to speak of. They also insisted that I should thank every one of them, on the part of all my family, even our old cat Shinny. Finally, they added that in time we would pay back all those children, slowly but surely.

I, for one, knew we could never pay back such a sum, but the thought that this was a loan had crossed my mind, only to be ignored when I considered the person would be mad to think we could actually honour it.

Maybe it had been reckless of me to take charge of the money immediately but these were desperate times.

* * *

That evening, as I was studying in the library I felt an ominous presence looming over me and when I turned my back I saw Black standing at another table looking at me and smiling.

I shrugged my shoulders questioningly, but he kept smiling. I frowned and turned my head.

Maybe he was still hung up on that argument we had. Well, monologue on my part. I admit that I had been a bit harsh, but let him come here and deny it all, I don't think he'd have the actual courage. He knew some parts were true.

After half an hour or so, I got up, collected my things and prepared to leave when a voice rang out.

'Not so fast, Moore.'

Black stopped in front of me, arms crossed, a very funny, hard to describe expression on his face.

'What is it?' I asked a bit low, looking at Madam Pince across the hall.

'I just wanted to talk a bit.'

'If this is about that argument we had, you can just…'

'I'm glad you can stay after all.'

'Pardon me?'

'You were going to leave Hogwarts. Money issues, if I'm correct?'

'Well, yes,' I replied drawing myself up. 'How do _you_ know about it?'

'Don't you think I _should_ know since I was the one who gave you the money?'

I dropped most of my notebooks on the floor with a giant thud.

'You what?!'

'Why the surprised face? It was the charitable thing to do for a less fortunate one,' he said folding his arms.

'Charitable?! I…I don't believe you…'

'You can check the transfer I made, I'll write Gringotts a letter.'

'Why…why didn't you tell me?!'

I knew I was making a scene but I didn't care.

'And spoil the surprise? Never. And if I had told you, you would have refused.'

I was turning very red. And I knew it was because…because he had apparently helped me and whether I wanted to or not, I had to thank him for the donation and I would be indebted to him. And to me, it felt like he had done it on purpose.

'Well yes, I would have refused! It's not right! It's not right to give me that much money!'

'Why ever not?'

'We aren't even friends! Why did you even do it?'

'Well, I considered that the girl who had shouted all those things to me that evening must be worth staying,' he said smiling.

But I knew there was something behind it.

'That's insane! You're insane. The reason is insane. Five hundred galleons?!'

'Don't worry, it's from my own personal fund and trust me, no one cares what I do with it.'

That meant he had more in his own account and suddenly his wealth made me dizzy.

And as if he was reading my mind:

'Probably now you won't be saying I'm such a rich spoilt kid since money does not mean that much to me.'

'That's because you roll in it,' I mumbled. 'I…even if it's hard to believe, I am…grateful. Thank you. It did help me a great deal.'

'Glad to see I served a good cause. I need to do something nice once in a while.'

I nodded and bent down to collect my books.

'But just so you know, I don't take back some of my accusations,' I muttered.

'I wouldn't want you to,' he said smiling.

I got up hugging my notebooks and books to my chest defensively and stared at him.

'Um…thanks. I guess I didn't expect it.'

'I'm sure you didn't. There's just one tiny, little thing however.'

I furrowed my brows questioningly. He was putting conditions? What kind of conditions?

'What little thing?'

'Well, I gave you all that money. I'd like to have a form of interest or profit out of it. I'm not asking you to pay back or something stupid like that. You won't be able to make that much money and it would be useless to me,' he said smiling. 'I don't want money.'

'Useless…' I repeated light-headed. 'Then what do you want?'

'It's not a huge deal if you think about it. Just be my girlfriend for a month or so.'

'What?!'

I knew it! I knew from the beginning it was too good to be true! I knew there had to be a sinister catch! And now I was paying for my naivete. I can't believe he proposed such a thing!

'No way! What do you think I am? Cattle at the market? Is_ that_ how you see me? You can buy me with money?'

Black frowned confused, as if I had said something completely stupid and stepped back.

'I think it's a small price.'

'No it's not! Are you insane?! I don't even know you!'

'You know enough from what you said.'

'So it's all about that stupid argument, is it?! Trying to prove a point there?'

'Actually, I am. You said I was such a horrendous rich boy that treated women badly and I would like to prove the contrary, which is only fair. I admit I would derive some satisfaction to see you of all people be my girlfriend. I mean imagine the situation.'

I did and it was too strange and surreal for words.

'So…you only gave me the money to buy me?!'

'Of course not. I'm not_ that_ barbaric for Pete's sake, I do have a heart you know. No, I did feel sorry about your situation. And I liked the way you insulted me.'

'_You liked the way I insulted you?'_

'Not many people, but for two or three actually have the courage to do that, to my face. Mostly James and Remus. Having the last name Black makes people "overly friendly" to me, don't you think?'

I nodded unaware of where I was or what I was doing. I felt so angry. I was going to hit the roof soon. I just wanted to slap him hard and run out of there.

'Rachel?' he asked seeing I was lost in my own world.

'Black, I really don't like you right now. And I don't want to see you, in any way.'

'I'm disappointed to hear that. I guess I'll just have to withdraw that nice little sum. I think your parents will be a bit surprised, won't they? They'll think it was a hoax. Did you tell them how you came about this sum?'

I closed my eyes trying to breathe, but that didn't help because I still felt him in front of me. How could he be so nice one second and then so utterly loathsome the next? It was impossible! Why had I talked that evening? I should have passed those two without looking back, I should have known bursting out like that would cause me eventual bad karma. Helping does not mean interfering. My mum always told me that I should stay out of conflicts of any kind. All those years of keeping quiet lost for good.

'I told them…something else,' I gritted. 'You're a complete arse. You really are. Go away please,' I said turning my back on him.

'Fine. Have it your way Moore. I'll be in touch with the bank. So sorry that business went wrong between us, then.'

I heard his steps fade away as he walked out of the library, very confident of himself as usual, I suppose. It was his victory over me. And what a victory!

I was shattered. Now what? What would I do?! How would I explain…how would I solve this?

Oh, so many questions rummaged through my head in just mere seconds, that I collapsed again on the floor. Down here it was easier to think.

The equation was pretty simple. I didn't need to use Arithmancy for it. I didn't want him to withdraw the donation and I didn't want to leave Hogwarts and I didn't want my parents to suffer. But I did not want to go out with him.

A month. It seemed a long time. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe I'd get through it in one piece.

I breathed in deeply and I got up and ran out of the library.

'Black!' I yelled almost bumping into him. 'I…I've changed my mind.'

'I knew you would,' he said smirking.


	3. Chapter 3

I knew I was probably making a mistake, but maybe it wouldn't be that aggravating to be with him. I might have judged him too harshly to begin with. Whatever his intentions, he had helped me, which cannot be said about many. I had to be a little bit grateful. I had to get through this without caring for my pride.

'I knew you would,' he said smirking.

He knew I would?!

'You knew I would?'

'Well, it's not like I don't know how people think. You're the type to make sacrifices for the family. Plus, you'd hate to disappoint them right now. So, yes, I knew you'd accept.'

I knew his smug little face deserved a great big slap but somehow I contained myself. Instead I pressed my nails in my palms. Why was he voluntarily squashing all my charitable feelings towards him?

'Maybe you should have used your money better,' I said looking away. 'I won't be good company.'

'Oh, I'm not worried about that now. I'll walk you back to your common room. It's getting quite late,' he suggested.

'Are you going to tell people about us?'

'I think it will be obvious.'

'Right…' I muttered. 'Everyone will think I'm such a hypocrite. I'm going out with you and yet I tell girls to be wary of you.'

'You _are _a hypocrite. And you're wasting your advice, since no one actually takes it. You should stop trying to be a such a goody-two-shoes.'

I turned very red at this and stalked past him hastily, not wishing him to see my anger.

'Na-a-ah,' he said grabbing my hand and pulling me back. 'What kind of couple are we if we don't walk together?'

'The type that doesn't speak to each other,' I answered.

'What did I ever do to you? Oh wait, I helped your family, I helped you stay at Hogwarts too. You're right, I am such a sod.'

'I'm not undermining your help, I just don't like you.'

He shrugged his shoulders and placed his hand around my waist.

'Can't be helped, I guess.'

'Do you really have to do that?' I asked pointing at the hand.

'Oh, if you want to get more comfortable I don't mind,' he said grinning.

'No! Definitely not. Let's just go.'

I felt pretty stupid walking down the corridors with Sirius' hand glued to my back.

'It's just going to be a month,' I said. 'I won't be in it for more than a month.'

'Thanks for clearing that up again. Do you have anything else to add?'

'That you're annoying?'

'Something important.'

'That you're annoying?' I repeated.

'Your sense of humour is just mind-numbing,' he said drawing me closer.

Luckily we didn't run into many people and the ones we did weren't in my house. Unfortunately, when we got to the Kitchens we met with several Hufflepuff mates. And most of them were nasty girls that loved nothing more than to keep track of these things.

I think they ogled at us for a good five minutes before they started whispering conspicuously. I felt really frustrated. I just wanted to scream "It's not what you think!"

But that would have made it even more stupid.

One of them eventually dared to speak.

'Hey, Rachel. When were you going to tell us you're going out with Sirius?'

'I'm not…,' I started but then reconsidered, 'a very talkative person about these things. Sorry.'

'Well…it sure is a surprise. Thought you two didn't get along. Well at least, you said he was a misogynistic pig and…'

'Nonsense!' I stopped her before she went on. 'That was some time ago, when I didn't know him that well.'

Sirius just looked amused. He was really enjoying this.

'How did you two get to know each other then?' another one asked.

'Um…he helped me with…Arithmancy homework,' I invented.

'She's a helpless case. I had to work with her day and night,' Sirius said smirking.

'Huh. Well it's a good thing you're not alone anymore, Rachel. We were getting worried you know. We sometimes hear her talking to her teddy-bear and we don't think that's healthy,' she told Sirius.

'That's not true! I'm just…practicing at Transfiguration most likely!' I protested trying to drag Sirius away, but he had started laughing like an idiot.

'Come on Sirius, we have to go now,' I said, pulling him away.

When we were finally out of sight I dropped my hand and walked away from him.

'God, that was embarrassing.'

'Which part? Because I'm going with the teddy-bear one.'

'Oh, shut up! You could've at least said something.'

'I did.'

'Something helpful!'

'Like what? That we're planning our marriage and life insurance together?'

'Well no, but you could've told them to stop asking. The whole school's going to know by daybreak.'

'So? Why do you care so much what people think?'

'Maybe because I like being part of society?'

'That's pretty boring. And I'm sure that's not what you really believe. You're just afraid of being judged. But you judge freely. How does that work?'

'Since when did you turn into such a philosopher of life? Don't pretend to know me so well,' I said offended.

'Who's pretending?' he asked smiling.

'I'm tired of this and I'm going to bed,' I said turning towards the painting of the entrance to the common room. The ruddy looking count sitting on a ridiculously tiny throne adorned with jewellery winked at me from the painting. I made a face.

'So then I shall see you tomorrow at breakfast,' he said matter-of-factly.

'Maybe I'll skip breakfast,' I whispered under my breath.

'Well, no good night kiss?'

'Huh, you sure expect a lot. But I'm not in a kissing mood right now.'

'That's too bad,' he said placing his hands against the wall on each side of my head.

'You know the whole intimidating strategy doesn't work on me cuz I've seen you with way too many girls. It's already becoming outdated and boring,' I commented drawing myself up.

'I'm just trying to look at you, silly,' he said grinning. 'I never got a good look at you.'

And that's how my confidence was slightly shaken. I wasn't expecting that. He really made me feel stupid.

'Well?' I asked after some moments. He kept staring in my eyes.

'Well?!' I asked again slightly piqued.

He put his hands in his pocket and shrugged his shoulders.

'Well, I guess I could've done worse.'

'Argh!'

I pushed past him, muttered the password and slammed the painting hard before going in. I was fuming.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, this chapter is a bit short, but it's more dialogue. Thank you all reviewers, I really appreciate your support. I hope you like Rachel. I hope she doesn't seem like a Mary Sue, I don't like those. Anyway, have a fun read and Merry Christmas!

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The following morning I felt very nervous. To tell you the truth, I had only had one real relationship before with a Hufflepuff and it hadn't ended well. We both yelled at each other a lot. He always had an issue with my likes and dislikes, mostly because they were opposite to his. So we split up and now we're not on speaking terms.

I didn't have a lot of experience. I almost had none. But my friends used to talk to me a lot about their relationships and this will sound strange but their talks were actually enlightening and I learned a thing or two.

I guess I wasn't dating material because I was always so worried about everything. No one wanted to deal with a person like that. I tried to be cautious most of the time and some people thought I exaggerated.

My mum had always taught me to keep silent and take care of myself. It was because dad had lost a big position in a company once just because he had spilled some things to someone. Also, my grandfather had lost a leg in the war just because he had insulted a fellow who was weaker and stupider than him. That was a long story. Apparently we had an entire history in our family of people who had screwed up at some point because they weren't careful.

You could say I had just done the same thing, but I try to see the silver lining here. I did it for an actual cause.

I left the common room mortified that I had to meet up with Sirius. I dreaded the moment when people saw us together. He was an attractive bad boy with a weird sense of humour and I was well – someone else. Your average under-achiever.

So I strolled into the Great Hall casually urging myself not to stumble or tremble and I reached my spot at the Hufflepuff table and started eating mechanically, looking at my plate only. I knew some were staring at me, I even heard whispers but I knew this was normal. Those girls had told other girls and the rumour had spread. Even the Slytherins were gossiping about it.

If I wasn't so focused on looking down, some girls would have approached me to ask me more about it. They seemed like they wanted to.

There was nothing to share really. Though I didn't even look at the Gryffindor table, I could imagine Sirius telling everyone about our thing and probably adding fictive details to it too.

After some time, I felt someone was sitting in my vicinity and when I looked around me I saw him watching me. He smiled serenely and pulled me to him and hugged me.

'Good morning, sunshine. Thought you'd say hello when you walked by but you're the queen of ice today.'

'Sirius, hi…' I muttered. 'I hope you slept well.'

'Oh, the bed was cold without you.'

I kicked him under the table.

'Someone might hear you. I mean okay, people already know but you don't have to talk like a pig.'

'Hey, can't I express my feelings to my girlfriend?'

'No you can't. I'm the kind of girlfriend that makes you frustrated because you always have to repress things. That's why we only last a month,' I clarified.

He looked at me amused.

'Okay, not many women tell me that. But I like it that you think ahead.'

'I try to anyway.'

'So what plans do you have for today for example?'

'Go to classes, do my homework, read and not see you too much.'

'God, you're boring. Where's the fun in this schedule?'

'The part with not seeing you too much.'

'Aren't you a joker? Seriously now, you're quite bland. I'd worry if I were you.'

'You know nothing about me so let's leave it there.'

'But I want to, really. You seem like an interesting sort of girl. I mean for example now, at breakfast, you appear to be pretty interesting.'

I put my spoon down.

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'Well, the way you dressed and did your hair…You're a very neat, organized person. You tie your hair in a tight bun and you don't let any strand get away though you could and you know that would make you look prettier but you think that's sloppy and shows weakness. You know you look better with your hair down but you don't want to show that. Your uniform is extra ironed and clean and the collars are very sharp. You wear a black leather watch hidden under your blouse and you aren't wearing any jewelry, because you think that's just tacky. And you're really not trying to be tomboyish or anything like that; you can be feminine at times, quite often, but not in public.'

I didn't know what to say. Some of the things he said I loathed to admit were true. But that didn't mean he knew me. He was just a really skilled observer.

'And you're against all these things?' I asked.

'Partly, but I find them refreshing in a way. It means that even though you look boring you're not boring. That's always a plus.'

I hated how he could insult you in the nicest of ways and be all smug about it. I could never do that.

'So what are you doing at the Hufflepuff table? I mean other boyfriends and girlfriends don't necessarily do that.'

'Other couples aren't as committed as we are. They're just fooling around.'

'So are we.'

'Sure, but I'm dedicated to the month we have.'

'Why?'

'Well, gee. Even if I have a girl only for a day I treat her very seriously you know.'

'Well, that should comfort all those broken hearts indeed,' I answered upset.

'Blimey, should I apologize to them? Will that make you happy?'

'As a matter of fact…' I replied, but then changed my mind. 'You don't deserve their forgiveness.'

'Why not?!'

'Well, because.'

'Because what?'

'Just because Sirius.'

'No really, tell me,' he said, taking my arm and forcing me to look at him.

'Because even if you apologize, that won't help things or make them any better. It will just make _you_ feel better, so no.'

'Believe it or not, not all girls leave my side crying.'

'Yeah, ok, they leave willingly.'

'No, they're just looking for fun. And for crying out loud, what's wrong in that?! You act like we have to get married or something.'

'Well…no, but…'

'But what?'

'It's still not right.'

'Why?'

'Relationships should mean more.'

'Well, look at us, darling. Ours is based on money. Is there something more?'

I felt so angry and yet so sad at the same time, knowing he was right. My parents would be so disappointed with me right about now – I was in it for the money.

'Sometimes, we have to do certain things that…'

'Oh, don't start with that. No morals at breakfast please. Not yours at least. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?'

'Myself? I don't know what to say.'

'Well, surely, you have a pretty good opinion of yourself. I think you can fish out some traits.'

'Yeah, just let me get my fishing rod,' I said dryly. 'What about you? What are you all about?'

'Me? Oh, I'm pretty easy to know. The vital things you have to know are simple. I hate my mum, my dad, my whiny brother and all the hoards of relatives I have, I hate that bloody house we live in, I don't like the Weird Sisters, yeah sue me, I hate veggies and I want to tame dragons some day or if I actually pass Potions maybe become an Auror, but that takes work even after I get the job so I'll probably screw it and find something else, like work at Three Broomsticks which is actually fun.'

I blinked and looked down at my plate.

'So that's you in a couple of sentences.'

'Pretty much.'

'I wish I could make a summary like that.'

'But you're complex, right?'

'Ha ha. No. I'm just not ready to make up a little speech like that.'

'So how about we hang out before lunch break? I know we both have free time then.'

'Well…fine, but in the evening I want to be alone.'

'Why do you get to establish the rules?'

'Well, I usually do that.'

'Well, you will not. Frankly, it will do you some good. You will see me this afternoon and this evening and who knows…'

With that he waved and walked away from the table like nothing happened but I was fuming again. I followed my rules and only my rules.

'Oh, right, forgot one small thing,' I heard a voice behind me and before I could turn he just grabbed my hair and kissed me really fast. I didn't even get to see or feel anything, not that I was meant to. And he walked away again.

'See you later,' he called.

I felt light-headed, like something important had happened right under my nose but I had missed it.

And now everyone was looking at me. Everyone at the Hufflepuff table anyway. Becky shot daggers at me with her eyes. She was pretty upset and I couldn't really blame her. After I had stood up for her in front of the jerk I was now apparently with the jerk.

And even if I tried to explain – what good would it do?

Of course some strands of hair had escaped my neatly combed bun.


	5. Chapter 5

**Yep, I am just as surprised as you are that I updated :) I guess Easy A (movie) inspired me, cuz Emma Stone kicks too much ass. Anyways, yes I wrote a new chapter and I'm going to share it with you, so there's nothing you can do about that:)) Just wanted to say major thanks to all you awesome guys who read and reviewed, thanks so much! Didn't expect so many reviews for this one :) **

**And now...I leave you with this sticky chapter. Not as cool as I wished it could be, but I must say, I like absurd, conflicted, smarmy Sirius Black. Hope you do too. **

* * *

Hogwarts didn't care about your personal space. Hogwarts spat on your little bubble of intimacy.

That might sound harsh, but it was the simple truth. If someone bought a new skirt, the whole crowd was going to know in a couple of hours.

Of course, if you were an anonymous individual with nothing spectacular or intriguing to single you out, the crowd wouldn't chart your life, but if you so happened to tread on the dangerous gossip territory, they would never let you out again.

See, dating Sirius Black would make a needle stand out in a stack of hay. So it made me, Rachel Moore, average sixteen year old with bad eyesight, zero fashion-sense and no plans for a brilliant future, a sudden main topic on their radar. Their radar, pathetic as it was, was mercilessly precise.

They tracked me the entire day. Gossip spread like wildfire. And soon everyone was talking about the same thing. Oh, no, not about our relationship, that was old. The question now was; how long would it last? Usually Sirius kept it going for about three weeks, maybe a month. So they were counting down the days.

They were actually making bets; would it be tomorrow or next month? Or maybe, who knows, would it last longer than that?

And even more importantly, would this new girl be a simple play-toy, or would she be another one of Sirius Black's failed attempts to connect to a human being? Was she a project of his, a dare, a simple task, a new challenge?

Well, they scratched the last one, cos they pictured me as an easy target. I mean, what low-class, Muggle-influenced, average-looking witch wouldn't jump at the chance of a couple of days in paradise with the school's rebellious John Travolta?

Although, admittedly, Hogwarts still had more dignity than Grease.

I was quickly losing the shred of confidence I had around people. Sure, I had confidence in myself, but not really when I was surrounded by prying vultures.

And Hufflepuff is not the House it's cut out to be. Loyalty my arse. They turn on you like snakes.

And I am not telling you this because I was not expecting this. I was prepared for this. It's just that I thought they'd treat me like any of Sirius' girlfriends; with jealousy, respite, interest and eventually...calm indifference.

But apparently I was not what you'd call 'Sirius' type' and everyone was surprised he had picked me, ergo, their reactions were a little more unsettling than usual.

I was feeling a bit under the weather. How come they weren't thinking that _he_ was not my type? How come they weren't surprised _I_ had picked _him_?

Oh, right, because I am not as important as Sirius Black. What he does, what choices he makes, that's what matters. Let's forget this other person in the relationship.

She doesn't count.

Well, I'm afraid I would be a terribly boring girlfriend, so I would have to disappoint them.

I couldn't wait to get out of school. As much as I loved Hogwarts for all its whimsical and magical aspects, I didn't feel I was living a fairytale. I blamed this school for making me trade myself for money.

I was just not that kind of person. Not that kind of girl either.

If it hadn't been for Hogwarts, I wouldn't have had to resort to this. Maybe I wasn't ready to face the facts, but I liked blaming someone else, preferably an institution.

At least in the Muggle world there were things like scholarships. In this world, I had to fake a relationship with a rich ass to earn my education and my family's welfare.

It just didn't feel I was living in a magical world. It seemed like the worst scenario.

It made me look like the last woman I'd ever want to be.

I wasn't actually whoring myself, but I was damn close to it.

* * *

When classes ended I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I was exhausted from all the staring, all the badmouthing, all the quiet whispers. I kept jumping in my seat during Potions because I heard my name so many times.

It had never happened before.

Some Ravenclaw girls asked me to sit next to them. That had never happened before either.

I had to accept, out of politeness. I probably mentioned before I didn't exactly have a real spine.

'So, do tell, between us girls, is Sirius a good kisser? Because Marissa here dated him for a while and she ranked him a solid 8. We were shocked, we thought he'd be a straight 10. We'd like to have another point of view.'

'I don't usually grade kisses,' I replied sourly.

'Has he kissed you in other places?'

Yes, I ended that conversation quickly by pretending to have a bathroom emergency. Which would soon be a real emergency. I felt like throwing up.

Two girls from Slytherin, who were both coincidentally Black's exes, told me Sirius had probably taken pity with me since I had been dateless for so long. And he really liked to help girls out. He always sacrificed himself for the better of the female community. Right.

I would have asked them if they had required his services in that respect, but I was getting too nauseous to say anything at all.

But the worst part came right before Astronomy.

Becky came up to me, looking as sour as a lemon. She was barely containing herself. Her hands were shaking.

'You...I can't believe you would do this. You whom I considered a friend!'

'Becky...'

'So what was it? What was that? You jumped in to defend me just so you could get his attention? What kind of sick person does that? What kind of tart stands up for a girl just to date her boyfriend behind her back?'

I forgot to mention a whole corridor of people were staring at us, mouths wide open.

'It's not like that, Becky, I swear I did not mean for that to happen...'

'I was crying, Rachel! You saw me! And you had the nerve to go out with him right away! You're a cold hard bitch.'

At this the audience gasped.

'Becky!'

'Maybe you had it planned all along, who knows, you and Sirius might not be so different after all!' she yelled, pushing past me.

Yes, you can see why I felt like utter crap. I had never heard anyone talk to me like that before, because before, I had never deserved it.

So you can guess I was on edge when I entered my common room that afternoon.

Everyone went very quiet. They stopped what they were doing. Literally, everyone paused whatever they were involved with. I thought they were going to start clapping, or something ridiculous like that. But they just looked at me with something akin to disapproval. Some of the guys looked amazed. The two girls I had met with the previous evening were grinning. They had been the first to know, so they felt special.

I sighed and climbed up to my dorm. I just wanted to bury my head in my pillow and stay there until I graduated. Only then would I come out.

I pulled the curtains around my bed. Ugh, yellow had never been a more agonizing colour in my life.

I took out my walkman and put in a cassette. The Go-Gos would have to do. They always cheered me up.

I took out my homework and started flipping through my notebook angrily, almost ripping out the pages. I felt like punching Sirius Black in the crotch. Maybe leave him heirless.

I felt like telling Hogwarts to go fly a kite. That would be a sight.

I just wanted peace. And complete anonymity and silence, and no one staring at me behind the curtains.

But someone was staring at me from behind the curtains.

'Rachel!' a girl squeaked.

'Oh, hi Katie...' I said morosely, looking up.

'Um yes, hello, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's someone to see you...ah, a certain fellow, if you know what I mean.'

I dropped my walkman on the bed.

'No, I don't know what you mean Katie,' I said, staring back at my notebook.

'Oh come on, we all know. So you might as well...you know, stop being shy about it.'

'It's just been a day, I have the right to be...reluctant,' I replied.

'Right, well, you should come down. Sirius Black's at the door.'

'Please, tell him I can't come down right now. I am indisposed. Terrible headache. And I am not lying. You can see the state I am in. I just need to rest. Would you tell him that?'

'Um, I think you should tell him yourself Rachel.'

'No, I can't come down, I can barely move from this bed. Just...tell him, okay?'

Katie opened her mouth, but I raised my palm and shook my head.

She turned around and walked out of the dorm. I sighed and rested my head on my pillow.

If I could just fall asleep right now, I'd be far away from here.

I closed my eyes. Warm sandy beaches...warm sandy beaches...warm sandy beaches...

Warm sandy...

_Oh Rachel, love of my life..._

Beaches.

_Why do you stay away?_

Warm...

_Why are you breaking my heart? _

_Cruel fate has torn me from my sweet Rachel..._

I jumped up immediately. Singing. Singing coming from downstairs.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

That...that...that...

_Can't you see I am down on my..._

Wanker!_  
_

I think I flew down the stairs because I had never run so fast in my life.

'Stop it immediately!' I shouted.

I blinked surprised.

He was standing in the middle of the common room like an idiot, a rose in his hands, smiling innocently at me.

Every living and breathing Hufflepuff was watching us, their mouths as wide as Europe.

'Rachel, sweetheart, you finally came down. I told you my singing always melts her heart,' he said, nudging a Second Year student next to him.

I was too shocked or too angry - I couldn't tell anymore - to say anything.

'Well, don't leave me hanging here,' he said grinning.

'What...?'

'Do you want me to sing it again?'

'No!' I said loudly. 'No, that won't be necessary.'

'I think I need a bit of fresh air, away from here,' I muttered angrily, dragging him away from the crowd.

'Rachel, darling, there's no need to be so hasty...' he said, as he walked out after me. 'We have all night long.'

I groaned. I could just hear the sniggering inside the common room after that.

I shut the door behind me and started walking briskly in front of him.

'What in God's name made you do that? A sick need to prove you are the planet's worst singer? Because let me tell you, I wouldn't enlist that as one of your talents,' I began angrily.

He stared at me blankly and kept walking.

'If your plan is to torture me and embarrass me in front of everyone, well, congratulations! It's working!'

He kept silent.

I went on. I was building up some rage. Today had not been a good day for pent up emotions. And they were spilling out.

'First you do that in the morning, you come up to me when everyone can see us and kiss me which turns the whole school upside down. Have you any idea how much happened today? How everyone kept talking? And Becky! Becky thinks I've done everything on purpose, just to get you! As if! And now you come here and sing that preposterous song and expect me to...'

He smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

'Expect you to what?' he asked.

'To...to be perfectly fine with everything, to be this girlfriend you want me to be and...'

'I've never said that. I've never told you to be perfectly fine with anything.'

'But you think you can do whatever you want...'

'Yes. Well, that's a bit of an understatement,' he said shrugging his shoulders. 'I am giving you all that money. I think that entitles me to do anything I wish. Even make a fool out of myself like I did back there. You could have easily avoided that by coming down when Katie first told you.'

'And I told her to tell you I was feeling bad. And I am feeling terrible Sirius.'

'You could have done that yourself. And as for feeling bad – what are boyfriends for? I am here to comfort you and make it all better,' he said, putting his arms around my shoulders. 'But you have to let me do that. Otherwise, how can I show you? I promise never to disappoint as long as you listen to me and don't refuse to see me.'

'That sounds more like 'if you don't do as I say, you will get it',' I replied sourly.

'I _really_ don't want to know what you understand by '_it'_, Moore, but if that's how you like to think about me, I don't mind,' he said grinning.

I punched him again.

'Can't we just pretend we've made out behind the library and go to bed now?' I complained.

'Oh, so that's what you want to do first? Fine, but I have to tell you from experience, that's never a comfortable place. You do not know how many girls almost split their heads against the rows...'

'Ok, ok! It was just a suggestion! And I said pretend we would be doing that, not actually doing it. Like tell people we did, but we really did not.'

'I'm afraid that's not how I do things. I don't have fake relationships. Sure I make girls suffer and cry, but I don't deprive them of this,' he said, pointing at his body.

I made a disgusted face.

'I've never received any complaints on that field,' he added. 'All candidates have been more than satisfied.'

'Ugh, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?'

'I _never_ kiss my mother,' he said, laughing.

'You hate her that much?' I asked lightly.

'Yeah, pretty much,' he answered seriously.

'I love my family. They are amazing,' I said.

'Yeah, I got that from your little sacrifice,' he said rolling his eyes. 'At least I have money to comfort myself.'

'Yeah, pretty pathetic if you ask me,' I muttered.

'No one asked you darling. In fact, I'd love it if you could be a silent girlfriend for a while.'

'Oh, gee, you know us girls, we just _love_ to chat,' I spat.

'If you stay quiet, you might actually enjoy it,' he said, taking my hand.

'Where are we going anyway?'

'Talking again I see. Well, if you must know, I am taking you to the Head Boy's common room.'

'Head Boy...you're not Head Boy.'

'Astute observation, Moore. But the Head Boy is my faithful minion so he will let me crash at his place,' he said, grabbing my waist.

'And where will he go?'

'Not my problem, really.'

'So, you just order people around and they listen to you?'

'Pretty much.'

'And you're not in Slytherin because?'

'Well, unlike those pricks, Moore, I don't have to make people listen to me. They just do. Because I'm a nice, charismatic fellow. And it's better to have me on your side than against you.'

'Quoted directly from the jerk's personal handbook.'

'You know, I don't see how I'm a jerk in all of this. Am I making you do anything?'

I sighed.

'No. That's just it. You didn't do anything. I mean you did do something. You strolled into my life without my permission. And you're just annoying and making me say things like 'strolled'. You're making this harder for me.'

'I am actually making it a lot easier. You don't have to do a thing. You don't even have to try so hard. Just let me take care of things, okay?'

I narrowed my eyes at him.

'Come on, have some faith in me.'

'Pass.'

'Can you at least play nice and let me work my charms?'

'As long as those charms don't end up killing me,' I said groaning.

* * *

'Bye Charlie! Come back in an hour or two!' Black called out after the Gryffindor Head Boy left the common room, leaving his personal suite (and dignity) all to ourselves.

I can't believe he had agreed to this. What sane person gives up his quarters for a bunch of horny teenagers? And by that I mean Black only, because I'm as excited as a fork.

'So love, let's go sit by the fire and get all cosy,' he suggested.

'Fine, whatever,' I mouthed and walked over to the couch. I sank in, pulling my legs behind me.

He sat down next to me and pulled my legs unto his lap.

'Hey! I had just found a good position.'

'And I just found mine,' he said.

'Now,' he began, slapping my leg, 'what shall we discuss tonight? Current affairs, or your social life or lack thereof?'

'How about we discuss how you're going to explain everything to Becky and make her forgive me?' I asked.

'Nah, that's a woman's territory and I don't tread there. Besides, I am never good at apologies.'

'What a shocker. But Becky deserves...'

'Becky deserves to be told the truth. That she needs to get over herself because we broke up. Same goes for the other faggots in this school.'

'It's easy for you to speak because they're not harassing you.'

'That's right, because I don't give a crap. And you'd do well to follow my lead. People tend to act out when you show a reaction. No reaction, no pain. Just shove it down and act cool.'

'Act cool? Seriously? That's your big piece of advice?'

'Yep. Feelings always get in the way of fun.'

'Well, gee, and here I was trying so hard when the answer was so simple. It's like I've had an epiphany.'

He rolled his eyes amused.

'I can't act cool and you know that. I am a compulsive worrier. I _need_ to worry and I can't help worrying and feeling anxious, it's what I do to get on...'

'Shush, shush, darling, you need to relax and let your worries go, because you're with me now, and when you're with me you shouldn't have anything else on your mind,' he said, leaning down for a kiss.

'You do realize that, that was hands down, the corniest thing ever said by man?'

'Yes, I do. Does that raise me in your eyes?'

'Nope.'

'Thought so.'

He kissed me slowly on the lips, tugging at my lips to open up but I resisted and just kissed him back awkwardly.

It felt pretty bad to kiss someone you had no real feelings for.

He grabbed my waist and drew me to him but that didn't do a whole lot of good because now I was struggling against him and the kiss was just getting more embarrassing.

His hands traced my back but got caught up in my hair which was pretty tangled. I hadn't combed it recently. He tried to draw away but he was stuck. I almost gasped in pain.

I moved, trying to free myself, and his lips landed on my chin.

He coughed and raised his head.

He tried again but this time he kissed my nose. He laughed.

'Okay, can you just sit still?'

The third time we hit our teeth, but in my defence, I was trying to say something and I hadn't expected the kiss.

It was all so...wrong.

Plus, I was almost falling off the couch and my back was hurting me.

'This is not very comfortable...'I muttered.

'Yeah, this isn't going to work,' he said pushing my feet down.

I breathed out in relief. 'I know, it's just not right. We're just not attracted to each other.'

'Wait, you're telling me you're not attracted to me?'

I nodded blankly.

'Yes you are. Come on, everyone is and I am not saying that just to act smarmy. You just have to squint a little.'

'Nope, sorry, not working, not even if I squint,' I said, getting up.

He smiled to himself. He rose as well.

'Right, I know what I did wrong.'

'You do?' I asked confused.

'Yep. You have a huge ass Moore.'

I think my mouth fell to the floor.

'And flat chest. And not the flattering kind,' he added pensively.

I opened my mouth but he silenced me with a finger on my lips.

'No need to defend them, the poor fellows speak for themselves,' he said pointing at my chest.

'They just want to be set free,' he added, sighing.

I covered my chest in disgust.

'Why are you...'

'And your hair, good God, is an animal loose in there? I almost lost a hand. Not to mention it looks like it hasn't seen a comb in centuries.'

'Am I blushing?' I asked annoyed.

'And your teeth really do honour the British stereotype. I bet you wore braces when you were little.'

I went completely red. It was true.

'Now you're blushing. Not to worry though, you've got...an amazing personality to compensate. World's most reliable threshold. Goody-two-shoes extraordinaire. You excel at being uncommonly bland. Am I right? Have I left something out? Oh, right, you're also a coward who never speaks her mind.'

'Okay, enough, I really don't have to listen to this!' I said, pushing him away.

He grabbed my hand and turned me around.

'What? Got more random insults to throw at me?' I retorted.

'Random? That was completely accurate! Admit it! It can't get more accurate than that.'

'I thought you said I just looked boring. But I'm not boring or bland, and you know that.'

'No, actually I don't, because you never show anything. You're just a pitiful little girl trying to act like an adult. You put on that mask of authority and morality but you're no different from the others, are you?'

'Okay if you're so bloody sick of me why did you trick me into this relationship?'

'Because I wanted to prove you're just as bad as all of those girls you judge. When it comes to money, you throw your principles away. You're just a cunning little...'

_Slap!_

I couldn't take any more crap from him. I don't know where this attitude was coming from, but I wasn't about to let him piss all over me.

'Don't you bloody dare finish that!' I yelled, glaring at him with all my might.

He touched his jaw with appreciation and smirked.

'What are you going to do about it?' he asked.

I clenched my fists angrily.

He grabbed my hair and bit my mouth sharply.

I yelled and beat my fists into him, opening my mouth in the process. His tongue invaded my mouth and I felt caught in a trap. I couldn't move.

It's like he was trying to choke me to death.

I sank my teeth into his tongue hoping he'd cry out which he did.

He pulled at my hair and I grabbed his neck and started scratching him. Not a good plan since I had no real nails, but I was trying hard.

He pushed me against the wall. I grabbed his face and pushed it away from me.

He started trailing kisses down my neck. I felt an odd feeling in my stomach growing faintly. My anger was starting to falter, but it was still there, fresh and ready to attack him again.

I grabbed his hair and he took my mouth into his again, but this time I was pulling hard and he yelped out.

We parted briefly and I looked him straight in the eye.

'Did you do this on purpose?'

'What?'

'Did you get me angry on purpose? Just to have your make out session?'

'If I say yes, are you going to let me continue?'

'You son of a...'

He covered my mouth again and I put all my anger and feelings into that kiss. I pushed his tongue away with mine. It's like we were sword fighting with our mouths. I was not winning.

He grabbed my waist and raised me on the tip of my toes.

I shoved my small heel into his knee and he cried out in pain.

But we continued fighting with our tongues nevertheless.

It was strangely more exciting to kiss him while hurting him. While I was angry and upset.

Because I'd never done anything like this before. And it was strange and silly and surreal.

'I'm not boring,' I said, panting, after I broke away from the kiss. 'Not really.'

'Yeah...you're actually a violent little freak, aren't you?' he asked, smirking. 'But you're going to have to do better than this.'

He was going to kiss me again but I put a hand over his face.

'Not tonight,' I said abruptly. 'I need to go...now.'

'Go where?'

'To my dorm. To my life.'

'You _don_'_t _have a life.'

And we started again.

This time less intense, albeit, but still quite violently. Our teeth clashed but this time it was intentionally and I tasted something like mint and butterbeer, which was a strange and impossible combination.

I also felt this chain around his neck when my fingers accidentally touched his nape, further down. It was cold, like it was made of thorns and icicles.

We moved to the couch; our original plan. His entire weight was now over me which was a sickening feeling.

When my head hit one of the cushions I suddenly stopped.

'Okay, enough!' I yelled pushing him away. 'I don't do this like this.'

'You don't do what?' he asked, not getting up.

'I don't just jump at people I don't know.'

'Guess that's not really who you are. Or is it just the powerful effect I have over you?'

I rolled my eyes.

'It's understandable really. Even Lily Evans can't keep her head with me,' he said smirking.

'Don't let Potter hear that.'

'Oh, he knows, he knows,' he said laughing.

'Yeah well, I'm not Lily Evans or any other girl and I need to go now.'

He rolled over and let me get up.

'At least now you can't say you're not attracted to me. You just needed a bit of help to get there.'

'Ew, stop talking like that. I'm still not attracted to you,' I muttered, although our previous actions proved the contrary. But I knew what I knew.

He ran a hand through his hair and smiled.

'Denial, first step in the process.'

'Shut up,' I mumbled.

He looked up at me with a strange expression on his face.

'Want me to walk you to your dorm?'

'No, no, there's no need, really.'

'Are you sure you want to leave?'

'Quite.'

'So, tomorrow, same hour, same place?' he asked. 'I'm making plans just to be sure.'

'No, I don't know, maybe. I don't want to just... come here and make out like an idiot.'

'Don't worry, I'll bother you during the day as well,' he said smirking.

'No, I meant...I'm not doing this again. I'm not going to have a strictly physical thing with you. That's...stupid. And it's not me.'

'And why not? What's stopping you?'

'Those stupid principles you mentioned,' I said folding my hands.

'Careful, I made you get rid of them once, so I could probably do it again,' he replied grinning.

'No, you couldn't, you ass, so don't even try.'

'Sorry, you don't get to make the calls. I'm going to act like I do in every relationship, I'm not going to deprive you of any important steps. Wouldn't want you to say at the end I wasn't right.'

'Right about what?'

'Right about the fact that not all girls leave my side crying. I'm sure you'll be quite happy.'

'Quite happy about leaving you, yeah,' I mumbled.

'Truly hurt, Moore. Can't believe you're so insensitive. I thought we had something special here,' he said, making a distressed face.

I kicked him in the shin.

'Stop it. I have to go now.'

He nodded his head and went over to a cabinet next to the fireplace. He took out a glass and poured himself something that looked like wine.

'You're going to stay here and drink?'

'Yep.'

'Really? Is that a habit of yours?'

'No, it's a hobby.'

'Uh, maybe you should just go to bed as well.'

His face darkened abruptly. He set his glass on the table.

'Not exactly your place to show care right now.'

'It's not care, it's just weird to sit here and drink alone.'

'I've got some thinking to do.'

'About what?'

He shook his head and looked away.

'I don't know, a naked Madam Rosmerta, flying my motorcycle during a Quidditch game...and the list goes on.'

'Huh, what an interesting life you lead,' I said.

'It gets better,' he replied smiling.

At the door we said goodbye awkwardly, me feeling worse than ever, he probably not giving a crap.

I wasn't going to leave without having the last word, though.

'By the way,' I mentioned, 'Madam Rosmerta has a tattoo. Just to let you know.'

He stared at me surprised. He opened his mouth, but I smiled and shut the door behind me.

If you're wondering how in Merlin's name I know that, well, let's just say she shares a lot when she is tipsy and you're the only client left in The Three Broomsticks.

Still, I felt a bit weird leaving like that. Did he do that every night? Just come here, sit alone and drink?

I don't know, I was probably over-analysing, he probably just had another girl over.

When I returned to my common room like the shameful puppy that I was, no one even looked up. There were few people left, but they seemed to be ignoring me. They were sitting in corners, minding their own business.

I nodded thankfully and climbed up the stairs, but barely had I gone up two steps, when the buzzing started.

'What do you think happened? She looks like she came out of bed,' I heard someone say.

I groaned and hit my head against the dorm door.


End file.
